MetaDaddy Gets Home

MetaDaddy gets back today, Saturday. I'm so, so, so looking forward to seeing him, as is MetaBoy. He's been antsy for a few days.

MetaDaddy will likely be glad to be home after 10 days of intense business travel and jet lag (15 hour time difference between here and China).

The way I figure it, when he gets back, he'll find:

1. MetaGirl has grown (I'd swear she has)
2. I'm now strong enough to pick up both kids...and possibly him. Michelle Obama arms!
3. MetaBoy was 100% in diapers 10 days ago, but is now practically fully potty trained. I'd say he's successful 80-90% of his waking hours. He might be more successful if I wasn't so scared to move him from pull ups to underwear. I'm waiting for MetaDaddy to get back to make the full transition.

It's been all about survival these past 10 days. So close...so close!

Missing MetaDaddy

It's funny the things you take for granted. I stay at home, and MetaDaddy goes to work. I'm at home with the kids all day, he's at work all day. Sometimes he has to leave very early (e.g., 6AM) for a meeting or a flight, and when he does, I think "poor guy" as he wakes me to give me a goodbye kiss -- I promptly nod off again. Other times, as I'm surrounded by cranky offspring while making dinner at 6PM, I think "lucky guy." Those days, I get annoyed when he's late. Regardless of the time, when he gets home, it's a treat for everyone. The kids get to hug the daddy they missed so much, I get a relief of parental pressure, and I think he gets to relax a little (as much as you can at home with kids prodding you).

So when he goes away on business, I think it's tough on everyone. It's tough on the kids because they know something's different, but they don't quite understand it. MetaGirl might be a little less aware given that she's 11 months, but there's definitely something amiss. And MetaBoy is constantly asking "where's daddy," to which I reply "he went to the office on an airplane and he'll be back soon." I don't know if that's the best thing to say, but he seems OK with it. He chimes in with "and he's going to bring me a present!" because that's what MetaDaddy told him at the airport as we were saying our goodbyes.

Obviously, it's tough on us, the parents. Him because he's traveling, dealing with airlines, coping with jet lag, tolerating food that can be hit or miss, and missing home. Me because there's no reprieve from the mayhem. They wake with me, spend all day with me, and I only have that short bit of time between their bed times and mine. I love them, but OMG! That's a lot of giggles, whines, smiles, complaints, hugs, pushes...tears.

It's funny how getting by day by day can help you take for granted the little things. Having MetaDaddy around is wonderful because we all love him so much. But it's more than that. He helps everyone function better. He teaches and shares things with the kids that I don't. His point of view gives the kids balance. He helps me from getting overwhelmed or taking on too much, for everyone's sake. He's the yin to my yang. The woo to my hoo. The melon to my proscuitto. Mmm...proscuitto...

6 days and counting.

Miss you!!

Movie: Away We Go

I LOVE Dave Eggers. I thoroughly believe his book "A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius" defined a generation. If you got it, you really found Eggers speaking your thoughts, even though his situation was probably nothing like yours. If you didn't get it, then you probably thought he was a whining idiot. I got it, and I've had a soft spot for him ever since. Mind you, it's been at least 10 years since I read the book, so who knows how I'd feel about it today.

I just heard about a new movie directed by Sam Mendes and co-written by...Dave Eggers! Away We Go, per the trailer, is reminiscent of Juno, but for adults. Funny, heart warming, soul searching...how do you handle getting your life ready when you've got a baby on the way. Maybe it's a movie that girls can relate to...especially those who've had a baby...and are me.

Eh, I don't know who the audience is, but I know that if we didn't have to pay $100 for movie tickets, a meal, and babysitter, we'd see this as soon as it hit theaters. Ah, parenthood.

Looking forward to the full feature via Netflix. In the meantime, the trailer.

Trailer: Away We Go

Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow

MetaDaddy's been threatening to shave off his goatee for a while now. Something about not liking the recent natural "changes." He's had the goatee for as long as I've known him, so it's hardly something I suspect he'll follow through on. I've been threatening to cut my hair mega-short, but I'm hardly going to.

I was looking at older pictures of us recently, and I realized how much shorter his goatee has gotten over the years. In fact, it's hardly more than a shadow these days. I told him I was on to his little trick, and to stop being cheeky. But it's there for now, which is good for keeping the status quo.

So, I was upstairs tidying up in the kitchen. I came downstairs to help make our bed. MetaToddler was off playing in his room. We're chatting away, then I look at the man across from me and scream "ACK!" as a bounced back in horror. Thoughts running through my head:

This sounds like my husband.

He's saying things my husband would say.

He's wearing my husband's Hawaiian shirt.

But who the hell is this guy?!?

"What did you do!!" Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.

He said he could grow it back in a couple of days, but that's hardly better. I need to know where we stand here. To goatee or not to goatee? That is the question. I can't have a goatee here today, but not tomorrow. I need more stability than that. This is not helping my nesting instinct!!

OK, it's not so bad. But seriously, I couldn't look at him for a while. It was too weird. It looks like him, but with a pale area in the center of his face. I'm slowly adjusting, but it might take some time before I can look at him without feeling like he looks a little naked.

I'm just saying.

A True Irish Lad

How do we know MetaToddler's got Irish blood?

• When we ask him to say "da da," he says "da." As in "where's me da?" If you can't quite imagine it, just imagine Colin Farrel saying it.
  
  
• MetaDaddy loves fish, but salmon rules in his kingdom. In fact, his entire family would happily eat salmon for three meals on any given day. When we've all gone out to dinner, you can tell those not in the original nuclear family because we're the only ones not eating salmon. It's truly entertaining.
  
  So MetaDaddy has some salmon spread that he eats on toast, and he's occasionally given some to our lad. One day, he gave him some, and MetaToddler started signing "more fish." He was not told it was salmon, just bread. But he knew. Oh, he knew. And the other day, we had salmon for dinner. It was wild (translation: pretty expensive), so I didn't get much. We gave him a bit, and he was ravenous to get more. He LOVED it!!
  
  
• Fire engines in Ireland wail "mee maw, mee maw" when they're on route to an emergency call. MetaToddler now calls fire engines and other emergency vehicles "mee maw."
  
  
• When daddy has a beer, guess who wants a taste?
  

MetaDaddy's Confession

"Oh, ya. He definitely got that from me"

"Say what?!?"

So, MetaDaddy recently admits in an "oh, didn't I tell you" way that he was a bit of a climber as a kid. Something about scaling walls and walking on really narrow ledges. Hardy-har-har...jokes on me, it seems.

MetaDaddy: Oh, didn't I mention that?
MetaMommy: Uh, no. I'm pretty sure I would have remembered picturing my child scaling walls and falling out of trees.
MetaDaddy: Oh well.

Soooooo, guess who's a climber.
Is it me? No.
Is it...the neighbor's dog? Don't care.
Is it MetaToddler? Yes.

I signed him up for a little gymnastics class. At first, he loved the trampoline. He was giddy with delight when he got on it, though he was having a hard time understanding the concept of jumping. The next time, he couldn't have cared less. He didn't even want to get on the trampoline. That's when the climbing started. Running away from me and climbing up and over things. He loves, loves, loves the balance beam now. He still needs a bit of help from me every now and then because he inevitably loses focus and topples. But for the most part, he does pretty well. I'd have taken pictures, but have you ever tried taking pictures of a toddler in motion?

This does not bode well for my nerves.

Toddler Oddities: Food

One of his most recent inclinations is to play with and suck on lemon pulp. One day, he was whining that he wanted what I had. Well, I had just squeezed the juice from a lemon, so I have him a taste. He winced, and proceeded to ask for more. So I gave him the lemon half. He played with it for no less than 10-15 minutes. (Non-toddler parents may be thinking "pssshhht...10 minutes? Whatever." But those who know...know the miracle of 10 minutes.)

Sunday at dinner, I served a lemon wedge for the asparagus. After squeezing it on, MetaDaddy gave it to MetaToddler, though mostly to elicit amusing facial expressions. Instead, much to MetaDaddy's dismay, the kid seemed to enjoy it. In fact, he started a game where he put the lemon wedge in MetaDaddy's mouth for seconds at a time, and I nearly fell over laughing at the cringe. Oh, how his devious plan failed.

So, MetaToddler not only doesn't mind lemon, he seems to like it. This goes along with my affinity for the fruit. Since childhood, I've loved eating lemons. It's terrible for your teeth (wears away the enamel), but it's oh so mouth watering...mmm...

Besides the big eyes, he's definitely ma boy :-D

Poor Little Bug vs. Bug

Poor little bug.

He got pretty sick this evening, and we have no idea why. He couldn't keep any food down, but it didn't start until we put him to bed (read: messy, messy, messy). He started crying 5 minutes after we put him down (very unusual), and proceeded to lose dinner all over MetaDaddy and the carpet. It was bad enough that we had to give him another bath, all the while cleaning up the mess (read: stinky, stinky, stinky).

After a few costume changes, a load of laundry, and a series of dry heaves, he went to sleep. The hardest part was keeping him from sneaking little Cheerios he'd find in nooks in the living room, which led to the heaves. He was actually looking pretty good considering, but it's soooooo hard to watch that sad little face.

We're crossing our fingers for tomorrow. Crossing our fingers that we don't catch what he has if it's catchy. Crossing our fingers that MetaDaddy makes it to his conference tomorrow because he's been working on his speech all month. And crossing our fingers that our little bug is his happy-go-lucky self again tomorrow.

Oh, and did I mention MetaDaddy will be away all week?

*le sigh*

Update: Our poor little bug is eating, running, and climbing once again. He's a bundle of renewed energy. We, however, are exhausted! But it's nice to see him with his A game again :-)

Quick Pack

It's funny. MetaDaddy has traveled a lot, and as a result, he's gotten pretty good at packing. But when it comes to travel, he's a "last minute" sort of guy. So at the last minute, he can pack a small black suitcase with the utmost precision. Pants, socks, belts, cell phone charger...all in under 10 minutes.

However, it turns out that he can't pack without a hard deadline (e.g., cab driver waiting outside). We decided to finish packing tonight because he has to work tomorrow morning. He'll have enough time to get home and change before we have to leave for the airport. No time for packing.

So tonight, it took 2 hours to do what can take 10 minutes. It's like driving on the 405. You can't help but wonder "what's the hold up?!?" He was trying on clothes to see what he actually "wanted" to wear. He even tried on a pair of old, baggy jeans in his pile of clothes...only to find out it was mine. I remember putting it there momentarily, but I apparently forgot it. When I saw his leg stuck in the pants, I literally fell over laughing. "These aren't my pants, are they?"

We're just about done packing, and tomorrow is all about loose ends. This is by far the most organized we've ever been for travel. And we're exhausted!!

The Joys of Parenthood

I got this via e-mail today, and I thought I'd share it with all of the pretty moms out there. Actually, I know dads can relate too, so it's really for all parents out there.

********************************************************
Before I was a Mom -
I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.
I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.
I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never been puked on.
Pooped on.
Chewed on.
Peed on.
I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.
I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom -
I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.
Or give shots.
I never looked into teary eyes and cried.
I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.
I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom -
I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.
I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.
I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much.
I never knew that I could love someone so much.
I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -
I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.
I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.
I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.
I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -
I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every
10 minutes to make sure all was okay.
I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.
I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.

Shark Infested Upgrades

I love technology, but I don't like maintaining it. And I love that MetaDaddy loves technology enough to go to the pains to maintain it.

That said, this cartoon is ridiculously close to home. Not that we ever have a plethora of non-working stuff...I'm just saying...



Note to MetaDaddy: No, this isn't you! You're fabulous with techie stuff. I'm just saying, remember that Mac? Totally not your fault, obviously, but remember it? Ya, I thought so.

Nursing from the Other Side

MetaMommy only knows it from this side of the fence. There is no way I would have been able to capture the male sentiment as succinctly as Greg at Daddytypes has.

Business Trips

MetaDaddy:
I think you should get away this week. We're sick, and we don't want to get you sick, too. Nor do you really need to be around two sniveling, whiney people, only one of whom shares your genes. In fact, you're safest if you fly all the way across the country. Go somewhere warm and inviting. I'm thinking sun, swimming pools, maybe even a few amusement parks to keep you entertained when you get bored with the lounging.

It's for the best, really. Now go! Go on. Go!!

*********************************************************

OK, this is not quite how it happened. In fact, he'll likely be annoyed when he reads this. But it's all in good fun. Besides, it's my blog. And since we're recovering, I get to be a little cheeky...I've got the 1-year-old, remember? Truth is, we were supposed to tag along with MetaDaddy to his Meta-Conference*, but we had to back out because we didn't think MetaBaby was up to the trip. I wasn't 100%, either. Which meant a less than 100% MetaMommy would have been chasing after a snotty and less than 100% MetaBaby while MetaDaddy went to work...and all away from home, meaning everyone was already going to be jet-lagged and confused at the best of times. The thought of it still exhausts me.

Anyway, I'm feeling like I'm missing out on something. So I think I'll have to arrange some sort of dessert or fun take-out tonight.

In the end, we made the right decision. MetaBaby is recovering, mostly do to proper eating and napping, which might have been stressed if we had gone. That said, MetaDaddy had to leave his brood behind, which I know is never easy. And he doesn't get to share the fun stuff with us, which he enjoys doing. So by no means am I insinuating that he's making out on this deal. But like I said...my blog. MetaBaby also knows MetaDaddy's missing because after his bath, they usually play a game: Daddy and Baby play peak-a-boo. So Baby looked around for Daddy and couldn't find him. Eventually, we moved on. Poor little guy. I think we'll all be looking forward to Friday :-D

*Revision: My MetaDork of a friend pointed out that MetaDaddy should be attending MetaConferences. Touche, MetaDork. Touche.

Blogosphere 9/27/07

Manpurse from David Lebovitz - Does a manbag make a man gay or just European. HI-LAR-I-OUS!!

Interesting History as told through NY Times articles from Kottke - Reports ranging from Lincoln's assassination to the sinking of the Titanic to the first mention of television as a concept. Nice place to go scavenging for history, n'est pas?

She's Geeky via Blogher - Lots of she-geeks out there, it seems.

Green Birthday Parties at EnviroMom - Tips and ideas on green and frugal birthday parties that kids will love. Time to start thinking out of the box :-)

Home Made Doll House at Juggling Frogs - You have to check out this attention to detail. Not impossible, but thorough.

Single Parent Families

I had a rather tumultous childhood. Back and forth. Here and there. I moved a lot. For the most part, I was raised by my maternal grandmother. Young for a grandmother, she was still straddled with the lack of a formal education and an age which prevented her from getting stable, long-term work. We struggled at the best of times. Even when things were better, she was so bad at managing money that we were never able to save for a rainy day. In that backwards way, she taught me a lot about money.

When you have a two-person household, it's hard to keep secrets. It's hard to pretend like everything's OK. And kids are very observant; they know what's going on. Reading this article by Barbara Ehrenreich reminded me of that. Kids have so much more insight than adults give them credit for, but they have such little control over their surroundings that they can't really have an impact on their environment. In her article, Ehrenreich discusses single-parent homes headed by mothers. The job(s) that some mothers have don't provide sick days, so when her child falls ill, she has to choose between her child or her paycheck because a missed day will result in her termination. Of course, we all want to say that our child comes first, but no paycheck means no rent, food, or clothes. The clear-cut question gets harder. Kids, feeling like a burden, find themselves shielding their mothers from these tough decisions by not telling them when they're sick or injured.

The most severe story she shares:

"Eric, then age 7, got hit by a car on the way home from school but chose not to tell [his mother] for fear she'd lose her second shift job if she didn't go in to work. Later an older sibling called her to say that Eric was crying because his arm hurt from being hit by the car and she had to take him to the hospital. When [his mother] informed her boss, he was adamant: 'Leave and you're fired.' Her pleas didn't move him. She did leave; she was fired. Eric turned out to have a broken arm."

A two-parent household makes life so, so, so much easier for so many reasons beyond money. That said, keep in mind that when you are struggling with something, communicating with your kids is a great way to help them learn and grow, and it's only fair. They expect a lot from you, and if you're preoccupied with other concerns, letting them know and help in their own special way is so important. Whatever you do, don't pretend your kids don't know something's going on. You'd just be fooling yourself.

I'm just saying.

To Laugh or Not to Laugh

Sometimes, my husband reads my posts and laughs. I actually hear a chucke, which is rare unless provoked by Eddie Izzard or intense tickling.

And so the banter begins.

"What? What was funny?"
"Um...all of it."
"Well, you didn't laugh the whole way through, just once in the middle."
"Ya, but it was all funny."
"Come on! Throw me a bone, here!"

And that, my friends, is the sound of me turning into a pleading sack of goo. Dammit. He wins again.

Peet's Legacy

Oh, the whole coffee thing is so amusing. Sure you need your cup of joe, but the prices some places charge is just highway robbery. But some people need it. I'm fortunate enough to not be one of those people, so I'm not going to pretend to relate. I've been caffeine-free for a long time now (thanks to MetaBaby), but my husband's not. He's a scary man before his cuppa. Not scary, scary...but you're better off talking to him after, or at least during his morning coffee. And if he's getting ready for work, just get out of the way. He's in work-mode and you're just likely going to get steamrolled. He's mellowed since MetaBaby, though, so mornings aren't as dramatic as they used to be.

So, he needs his coffee. And his coffee of choice is Peet's, which is fortunate because there are a couple of Peet's in Santa Monica. It's pretty strong coffee, though, so it's not everyone's cup of...err...tea. Well, I just heard that the founder, Alfred Peet, passed away. An obituary to the man who fed Starbucks their wee little coffee beans in their infancy.

"His reputation in the coffee business was well in place in 1971, when he was approached by a group of entrepreneurs who asked him to provide his roasted beans for their new venture, Starbucks, in Seattle.

"Peet supplied us with roasted coffee, and he taught me how to roast coffee," Baldwin said. "He was very generous."

There ya go. So if you like Starbucks, he's why.

Accountant vs Stay At Home Parent

I worked as an accountant at various companies over the course of several years. I'm beginning to think that having worked as an accountant makes me appreciate being a stay at home parent today.

Being an accountant is thankless. No one cares about you until you make a mistake. No one wants to validate expenses; we're just a nuisance for requesting backup and information. It's a department usually outside of the realm of generating money for its company. It's just about support and oversight. Overhead. Its work is intangible, and as such not quantifiable.

Now I do things like clean, cook, bake, make baby food, shop, and play with Boogie and keep him safe and happy, all the while relieving my husband of some of the chores and errands he had to do back when we both worked. Yet, I still feel useful and productive. And it is in no way thankless, thanks to my boys, but there isn't the same kind of praise as if I was working in a different environment where everything well-done gets praised or highlighted. Getting that stain out of Boogie's clothes just doesn't elicit the same reaction :-P Someone asked me if i get bored as a SAHM. Are you kidding? Who has time to get bored? Besides, as a curious person, I've always been on the hunt for new information and to learn new things. So if I'm not doing something that *needs* to get done, or playing with my son (which is the whole point of this endeavor), I'm doing something that entertains me. There can be learning and growth in any of the challenges we take on, as long as we work to that end.

Intangible? Usually. Productive? Absolutely.

A Cheap Birthday Gift for Your S.O.

Something nice for your spouse's birthday...not that my mind is on my upcoming birthday or anything ;-)

How To Give A Back Massage

Via Lifehacker

Dads in their 40s

Oh, how my husband's going to hate to see this post.

An article on fathers in their 40's caught my attention. As women are becoming parents later in life, so are men.

Per the article, fathers between 40 and 44 were up almost 18 percent from a decade ago while birth rates of children with fathers in their 20s dropped about 15 percent in that same period. "Two major trends in the dynamics of the modern family drive these statistics: Many men are waiting longer to have children as they pursue career goals, and many others, divorced or widowed, are remarrying and starting new families."

We know several men who became fathers for the first time after the age of 40, my husband included. Personally, I think he's much more mature and involved as a parent than he would have been a few years ago. He doesn't feel as compelled to work until 10 nightly, including weekends. He relishes in the time he spends with our son, whether it's changing diapers, giving baths, or playing peek-a-boo.

The article states that "by this point in some men's lives, a softer, easier temperament prevails." I didn't know my husband when he was 20, but I suspect that he's a bit more mellow now. Or so I hear ;-) He certainly doesn't overreact to things or obsess over nonsense, which I've seen plenty of maturity-lacking parents do. The article goes on to address a concern over age-sensitive issues like sports, though that was never a concern because my husband's never been the soccer/football/marathon type. That wasn't going to happen now or 20 years ago. He does however love mountain biking, and though I'm not excited about seeing them share that sport, I'm willing to let it happen...I just won't watch. It's something they can share, which can make one more mature, while keeping the other young. Which is which? Hmmm....



I suspect kids keep us all young, and sometimes, dare I say it, even I need a bit of youthful silliness to keep the wrinkles at bay.