Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Quick, Quick!!

A lot of stuff has come to a head because my doctor is concerned about the size of M2. MetaToddler was expected to be about 9 pounds when he was born at 41 weeks, but he was 7.11 pounds. So, ya...the docs were wrong. I've expressed my preference for a VBAC, and my doctor is willing to let it happen, but only if it happens by week 39. In other words, I have until this weekend to go into spontaneous labor. Otherwise, she's calling the game.

I have some friends and family horrified at the thought of a VBAC. But my reasoning is simple. A c-section is major surgery, something I'd prefer to avoid if at all possible. And perhaps more important, my recovery time would be significantly greater than with a regular birth, forcing me to deal with a serious recovery, a newborn, and a two-year-old. I'd prefer to be able to get back to my life sooner than later.

I suddenly feel so behind on my nesting. We have our car seat, assembled crib, laundered clothes , and various other readied things. I've made a few frozen meals to have on standby for those rough first few weeks. I don't have anywhere near as much as I did the last time, which is unfortunate. Oh well. We'll have a few easy meals on hand, and a few reliable favorite restaurants that deliver, so we should be fine on the food front. Sleep is another issue all together, but nothing you can do about that beast.

Le sigh.

I've had to accept that I won't be able to go to the farmers' market for a while. It's my weekly thing, and since I'm likely to have a c-section again, I'll have to forego seasonal treats for recovery. This is hard. Well, I'm finding a few things hard this time around. Before, I wasn't as involved in cooking, cleaning, and obviously, parenting. It was just MetaDaddy and me, so I cooked several meals that were frozen into two person portions, but no stress. I had gained much more weight, and couldn't clean, so MetaDaddy was doing all of the cleaning at home. And well, there was no one to parent.

This time, I've slowly had to accept that I couldn't keep cleaning to the level that I felt appropriate, so per MetaDaddy's insistence, we've had someone come over once a week to help out. We just have to maintain it, which isn't easy, but nowhere near as bad as cleaning it in the first place. And she's pretty meticulous, which I truly appreciate. Not as meticulous as I am, but hey, I'm a self-admitted PITA.

Also at MetaDaddy's insistence, we've also gotten a referral from a few friends for a nanny. Everyone loves this particular person, and our circle of friends have known her for years. MetaDaddy's concerns stemmed from knowing how hard the c-section was on me last time, and he's worried about how I'll manage at keeping MetaToddler happy while caring for M2. After all, it's me and the kid(s) alone all day. So any extra help will go a long way. I kept putting it off, and eventually, he won. We have a part time nanny. It's just so hard to give up caring for MetaToddler 100% that I can't easily let go. But I want to be fair to him and avoid his feeling neglected. He doesn't go to day care or preschool, so it's all me. And if I can't give 100%, well...boo! He's been getting used to the nanny over the past few weeks. She keeps up pretty well, so he's getting a lot of attention and excitement from her, which I'm having a hard time providing these days with my size and all.

So ya...if I don't go into labor over the next few days, it's c-section #2. I mean, it's not like in a perfect world I would go for a regular birth. In a perfect world, I'd aim for an "oh, it's a baby!" thing where it just magically appears after months of jabbing me in the ribs and bladder. Either way, another August birthday is about to hit the MetaHome.

We'll keep you posted on the deets.


Becca said...

You do have the power to say no to a scheduled c-section.

This c-section isn't for your benefit or in your best interests. It's for the convenience and financial gain of your Dr. (he can pencil you in whenever it's convenient for him)

Perhaps you should check out www.ican-online.org find a local chapter who can help you find a Dr. who will actually give you a chance.

39wks...ridiculous arbitrary point in time. Your risks do you not go up, your baby is healthy you are healthy.

Frankly your Dr. disgusts me.

Anonymous said...

I had my VBAC after two c-sections last year. I went to 42 weeks - it went smoothly, I think, because I waited until the baby was ready to come, and my body was ready to birth.

You do NOT have to agree to a c-section, you can say no.
Tell them you are sorry, but you do not feel your baby is ready and you do not feel comfortable havng a c-section.

Karin Person Finley said...

I just want to second "apple's" comment.

Get thee to www.ican-online.com pronto.

You do not HAVE to have a c-section and frankly if you and the baby are healthy it is not in either of your interests to have one.

This is your baby and your body - do NOT give up your right to participate in your own health care, you after all will be the one dealing with an unnecessary wound on your belly. Take responsibility and make the choices which are best for YOUR family, not your OB. Because unless she is coming to your house to be your maid, cook, and nanny - then tell her to keep her scalpel to herself.

She will probably give you all sorts of scare tactics and reasons why you are a dreadful mother to even consider a VBAC. But if you do the research and look at the facts - you'll see that VBAC is statistically the safer choice for you and your baby.

kansaskp - mother to 4 - one section (for bogus reasons), 2 hospital VBACs and one HBAC (and my third was born healthy at 43 weeks - your baby know when he/she is ready!)

Good Luck!

MetaMommy said...

I've got a lot more to say than a simple comment will allow for, so here's my post.