Missing A Junk Food Platter

Why did I have to find out about this today instead of pre-braces?

Simon L.A.'s Junk Food Platter

To quote Jonathan Gold:

"The centerpiece of the sampler is a giant blob of pink cotton candy affixed to a paper cone kept erect by a few fistfuls of housemade Cracker Jack. There are Rice Krispies marshmallow treats, in chocolate as well as the traditional blond, a heap of freshly fried doughnut holes, two reasonable facsimiles of pink-marshmallow-frosted Hostess Sno Balls and two more of miniature Hostess Cup Cakes, a jiggerful of vanilla milkshake and a bag of cookies — oatmeal raisin and chocolate chip — that may or may not make it back with you to the car. If you are interested in feeling the way you might have after gorging on funnel cake, ice cream and caramel apples at the state fair when you were 13, the Junk Food Sampler may be for you. This isn’t a dessert; it’s a diabetic coma on a plate."

Sigh...this is why he won a pulitzer. I can almost taste it. Except I can't, darn it all!

Ah, it can be my reward for all of the brushing, flossing, and teeth wrangling. Just...um...don't tell my dentist. Shhh....