It's Not Easy Being...Parents

I like This American Life. I've been listening to it on KCRW for years. Sometimes I laugh. Sometimes I cry. Sometimes I laugh so hard I cry, but that usually involves David Sedaris (e.g., the squirrel and the chipmunk). Usually it just gets me thinking and relating to someone I never thought about before.

Today's episode touched home for me more than usual. The one hour was broken down into 3 segments:

Prologue - 10 minutes
Hard as it is to believe, during the early Twentieth Century, a whole school of mental health professionals decided that unconditional love was a terrible thing to give a child. The government printed pamphlets warning mothers against the dangers of holding their kids. The head of the American Psychological Association and even a mothers' organization endorsed the position that mothers were dangerous—until psychologist Harry Harlow set out to prove them wrong, through a series of experiments with monkeys. Host Ira Glass talks with Deborah Blum, author of Love at Goon Park: Harry Harlow and the Science of Affection.

Act One Love Is a Battlefield - 27 minutes
Alix Spiegel tells the story of Heidi and Rick Solomon, who adopt a son raised under terrible circumstances in a Romanian orphanage—so terrible that he's unable to feel attachments to anyone.

Act Two Hit Me with Your Best Shot. - 19 minutes
Dave Royko talks about the decision he and his wife faced about their autustic son's future, including whether their son should continue living with their family.

Being a parent isn't easy. Waking up at all hours, cleaning up all sorts of messes, teething, feeding, you know the rest. But no matter how hard I think it is, "Act One" put the whole parenting thing in check for me. I've got it easy. The second segment is by no means a walk in the park either, but it was "Act One" that really shook me. I cuddled Boogie that much more for seeming to love me as much as I love him.

I'm reminded of this quote by Eleanor Roosevelt:

"A woman is like a tea bag. You never know how strong she is until she gets into hot water."

A summary and some photos of the study referenced in the prologue is here. Careful though...you might just want to reach out and hug those poor little sad monkeys.