The Dangers of Cooking

This has been a frightening week in the kitchen. Here are a few of the highlights.

I bought some kale to try Alton Brown's lemon sesame glazed greens. Well, let's say that for a few reasons, I will never be trying it again. Per the recipe, I heated the pan, then put the oil in. The pan got too hot, the oil burned, smoke e-v-e-r-y-w-h-e-r-e. Had to open every window, chilled the place through and through, and got the whole family coughing. And the kale was rubbery. I obviously don't have the knack. I've been banned from that recipe.

Today, I decided to make the olive oil cake from Sunday Suppers at Lucques. I started by segmenting the tangerines, which MetaDaddy noticed I did wrong. So, now MetaBaby will be snacking on tangerines for the next few days. I then figured I'd at least make the cake because at the end of the day, I know how to make a cake. Turns out, I don't...le sigh.

Here are a couple of things I learned today. Step 2 says you should mix the eggs and sugar in a stand mixer for 7 minutes, then transfer the finished product to another bowl. I figured "that's just one more bowl to clean," so I left it in the same mixing bowl. Here's why you should transfer the egg mix to another bowl. When you fold in the olive oil, it pools in the reservoir of the mixing bowl. Another thing, my favorite cake pan is one with a removable bottom. Why was this a bad idea? 20 minutes into baking, smoke was filling the kitchen, yet again. Olive oil pooled in the bottom of the oven and reached it's smoking point. We had to take the cake out, which was half done, wipe up the oil, and put the cake back in. When it was "finished," it was also charred on top. At this point, we decided to lop off the burnt part, and it was actually nice and golden. So I whisked up some cream and called it dessert. For the record, it was good. I'll try to make this again, when I've recovered.

The amusing thing was that after screwing up so many dishes, MetaDaddy (either out of pity, fear, or concern for the well-being of his first-born), helped finish dinner. On the bright side, the risotto was perfect!

I think tomorrow might be a light kitchen day. For everyone's sake.

Note:  I later found out I was pregnant.  And yes, hindsight is 20/20.